The Five-Year Mark
Why the title of my Covid Chapter is "The Great Redirection"
"The power to rewrite your story lies in understanding that you are the narrator, not just a character."— Dani Shapiro
Five years ago, a party planned to celebrate my 40th birthday fell on March 14th, 2020 - the weekend the COVID shutdown began. We made the difficult decision to cancel the party. I'll never forget a conversation with my 70 year old dad who, having just recovered from his first bout with Covid, lamented about the shuttering of NYC where he lived, and said "it will be about 5 years before we return from this." With a newborn and pre-schooler at home and no end in sight, it was all I could do to get through the day, let alone think about the 5 year mark. And, yet, here we are.
Listen to the Leadership Brief Instead Here
Last weekend, exactly 5 years from the day of the shutdown, I re-visited the Kona Club, the site of my canceled 40th birthday celebration. It was a catharsis and celebration for all of us.
The 5 year anniversary of the birthday celebration that never happened
The New York Times recently posted an article interviewing for students from Oakland Tech, our neighborhood high school, about the impact the school closures had on their burgeoning lives. Reading their stories prompted me to reflect on my own journey through this unprecedented time and the gifts and losses I've experienced. The gifts in many ways led to who I am today, while the costs are still playing out, even 5 years later.
Reframing Our Stories Through Reflection
This is an exercise I like to do with teams when big events arise as a way to reflect and make explicit their impact. Examples of moments when this may be important include company acquisitions, return to work mandates, leadership transitions, or major strategic pivots. The exercise will take a different shape if it's done in the moment versus after the event is in the rear view.
As humans, we each have a bias to more closely examine the gifts or the costs of any large or small event in our lives. If we're optimistic, we focus on the positive and if we're skeptics, we may dwell on the negative. Neither approach is wrong, but both have limitations. The key is to surface both sides and then take conscious control of the narrative you want to tell about this time.
Here’s my personal inventory 5 years later. Since I’m an optimist, I’ll start with the gifts.
Gifts:
More quality time with my newborn baby, Simon, born 12/27/19 and deeper bonding as a family of 4
Taking my coach training program online, which wasn't broadly available virtually in the before times
Gaining the courage to reach out, build relationships and dream about launching a new business in ways I wouldn’t have in the past
Costs:
Family and friends missed building a bond with Simon during a pivotal time and we all lost the ability to mark big milestones in traditional ways
Travel and experiences we had planned with our children
The heightened anxiety that colored even simple in-person interactions that I still feel remnants of today
The next question becomes, "What's the title of this chapter in your life?" For me, the title of the Covid Chapter is "The Great Redirection." What began as a period of intense survival mode ultimately redirected my career, my family priorities, and built my confidence and clarity about where I can have the biggest impact. The fact that this experience also coincided with transition to middle-age also reminded me of the importance of taking personal responsibility for my choices.
The Power of Rewriting Our Narratives
When we take time to consciously craft the story we tell about pivotal periods in our lives, we reclaim agency. It means holding space for the complexity of our experiences while choosing which elements to carry forward.
For leaders navigating organizational change, this practice becomes even more crucial. The stories leaders tell about transitions – whether it's a restructuring, a market shift, or a pandemic – set the tone for how their teams process and move through these experiences.
I've worked with leadership teams and individual leaders who, after acquisitions, remained stuck in narratives of loss and resentment years after the change. I've also witnessed teams who, through intentional reflection and meaning-making, transformed difficult transitions into periods of unprecedented growth and innovation.
Your Turn: Authoring Your Next Chapter
Now, it’s your turn to author your next chapter. Whether you're marking a milestone birthday (as I just did), navigating a career transition, or simply taking stock at this 5-year pandemic anniversary, I invite you to try this reflection exercise:
What were the genuine gifts that emerged from this period of change?
What were the real costs or losses you experienced?
What title would you give to this chapter of your life or leadership?
I'd love to hear your reflections if you feel moved to share them. As we all navigate the ongoing ripple effects of the past five years, there's wisdom in our collective meaning-making.
