How Leaders Build or Block Self-Trust for their Team
The best leaders expertly equip their team to trust themselves
This weekend, while sorting through my memory box contemplating what I'd save from a fire, I rediscovered a treasured letter from my Freshman year English teacher, Ms. Fischer.
Her words struck me:
"The moment you start trusting yourself and the moment you realize just how beautiful, creative, smart and talented you are, you will blossom. I hope I'm around because it will be very exciting to see what you produce."
This note captures a fundamental truth about leadership I've come to understand: Leaders can paint compelling visions and recognize the potential in their teams, but their impact is ultimately limited by how much their team members believe in themselves, both individually and collectively.
My wise Freshman teacher understood that her excellent teaching could only take me so far – I had to believe I had what it takes to bet on myself. I've lived this lesson again in my own career transition to leadership coaching. For years, I excelled in corporate roles but felt a deeper calling to help others grow. It wasn't until I trusted my natural ability to create safe spaces for leaders to reflect and develop that I fully stepped into my own power as a coach and entrepreneur. I needed to recognize and embrace my unique gifts before I could blossom into this next version of myself. I strive to create the same conditions for my clients – safe spaces where they can discover their own unique gifts and step fully into their potential.
Here are ways leaders can unintentionally undermine their team's confidence and growth:
Rescue them when things get hard: Stepping in too quickly sends the message that you don't trust their capability to solve problems
Over-edit or perfect their work: Constant tweaking suggests their output isn't good enough
Give answers instead of asking questions: This deprives them of developing critical thinking skills
Fix their mistakes before they notice: This robs them of valuable learning opportunities
Ms. Fisher and I lost touch after I left for college and despite some searching, I haven't been able to find her to thank her for opening my eyes to creative writing, literature, critical thinking, and lessons from the civil rights era.
Note from Ms. Fischer wrapping a copy of Sula for me to read over the summer.
Reflecting on her wisdom, here are some questions you can ask yourself:
Where in your work or life are you holding back, waiting to feel more confident before taking action?
What unique strengths do your team members possess that might be overshadowed by your well-intentioned guidance?
How might stepping back and creating space for others to struggle and succeed change the dynamic on your team?
I've learned that the best leaders recognize that building others' confidence often means resisting the urge to demonstrate their own expertise. They know that the key to building exceptional teams is cultivating a group of individuals who trust themselves.
Last week, I spent two days with a team that is just beginning to step into their full potential. I wrote about my experience here.
